This month starts, and you start hearing seeing all these beautiful things surrounding you. It is a limitless ocean of beauty and awe. Some of us, however, wake up with a heavy head not being able to function, not because our heart is not into this month, not because we don’t have a connection with our lord, mainly because we can’t make a connection with our own souls. There is so much to sort through. This month, with everything beautiful, it has to offer comes upon us and demands that we give in. What if we have nothing left to give?
What beauty do I have within me? What greatness or pureness can I contribute?
We feel lost and abandoned by the best because we don’t have what everyone has in their hearts. At some point in our lives, at some Ramadan, we have all been there. We’ve all felt it but have not been brave enough to speak because that would be the real weakness. We think we are alone in this feeling. Does anyone ever just want to stop because they feel they don’t deserve all the good things they have been promised in return for doing just a tiny bit, which they can’t seem to accomplish at the moment.
No one has ever been here. I am alone in this. This is my struggle. No one knows it. No one will ever know what it feels like not to feel that connection. No one will ever know what it feels like not to want to get up and do the right thing. I will not share with anyone because no one has ever felt this pain and discomfort. I will not share because no one has ever been here.
You. Are. Not. Alone.