Learn to say NO. The only way to show love and care for others is not to give of yourself until you have burnt out. Tell them that it’s not a good time. Explain the extent of your situation to them. If you are afraid that they will be upset then that right there should be a red flag to a toxic relationship. If the fear is in your head and you have never tried to tell them how you feel then try it, you might find them more supportive than you’re giving them credit. Either way, your sanity is important. Any relationship has to be two-ways to be a healthy one. If the expectations are leaning too much in any one direction, toxicity will eventually create problems. The general understanding should be that no means no under any circumstance, in any type of relationship without hesitation.
Reality Check: Our reality is made for us and us alone. Kind of a strange thing to say, ain’t it? We imagine the world in a certain way, then the world happens to us and we are left in awe of reality. We control only our actions. Ironically we don’t even control our thoughts. At times even our actions get away from us. I can think of a few examples for myself where my thoughts and actions got away from me. I can think of many instances where I wish I had acted differently. I wish I had said something else. I didn’t, only because in my reality things weren’t supposed to go down that way. In my reality, people were supposed to see things my way. They were supposed to “understand”. They were supposed to “know”. They were not supposed to be so irresponsible and absurd. The world was supposed to understand how important this issue, event, or incident is TO ME. I am the central part of this issue. Why have they not seen this? In MY opinion, what they should have done is this…
If it had been that way things would have been the way my reality demands it and the outcome would have been as I had imagined and the world would be right. We forget in those moments that we and the people closest to us are not the only ones living in that exact reality. The world overlaps a million times over. That same event, situation interrupts the lives of so many. So how is our life event more valuable than that of someone outside of our reality’s viewpoint? I have written and said and written the word reality so many times that it is starting to sound unreal. Un-real! That’s the word for the other person’s reality in our head. Same world different realities. Nope, one world, one reality. Simplify the world that we live in with everyone. Not every situation is happening to us, it’s just happening around us. Accept it, live with it.
To Whom It May Concern 