This describes me and how I feel. How I write, how I express myself. Who I am in general. You want to get to know me, you will have to take the time. You want to learn about me, take the time. You want to understand my point of view take out the time. Otherwise you will always wonder and never understand me. Not understanding me is not such a bad thing, not everyone is meant to know everyone well. Most people are just travelers in our lives. However, if you choose not to be; it will take time.
I am a bad mother because I didn’t choose the same struggle as others. I’m a bad mother because on some instances I chose comfort for myself over faking martyrdom. I’m a bad mother because I’m not a man and I cannot make choices accordingly.
I’m a bad mother because I can’t always do everything the way society expects me to. I’m a bad mother because I speak of wanting a life of my own. I’m a bad mother because I want to choose a life for my children based on what “I” think is best for them and not what others deem appropriate. I’m a bad mother because others don’t see my struggles and have made up their minds about who I am. I’m a bad mother because after taking care of my children, husband, home, and other family members and working for years, months, weeks without complaining I’m exhausted and want to take a break. That break costs me, that break is considered laziness. That rest and time out is a sign of my disinterest.
Honestly, I don’t even want to make the same choices. My world is differently layered that cannot be explored by the naked eye.
My choices make me a regular person. Just a person; Not good or bad.
Just like the children’s father’s parenting has never been questioned my parenting shouldn’t be questioned as well.
The reality we live in is rude and mind numbing.
It feels as though women are gripped by the throat, that grip ever so slightly being tightened and loosened depending on what actions are approved or disapproved by the world around with no consequence to others.
Anytime we express a thought or “feelings” they are simply explained away as emotions that have no place in a real conversation or the real world. Which, now we know as educated, informed individuals is the farthest from the truth. Expressing our emotions is one of the most valuable things one can do in any relationship, whether it be a personal one or work one. Of course the limitations and etiquettes differ.
Not expressing ourselves and denying others the same opportunity is what has landed us here.
In summation, I’m a bad mother because I’m Human, I’m a bad mother because I’m a woman.
Dr. Peter Lavine is a Psychologist and an author who writes about child Trauma, how to recognize it and how to help your heal from it. No, I’m not going through a life crisis that I’m spilling all over social media in a passive-aggressive manner. These feelings are real and they are with me all the time just like they are with you all the time. I feel we are afraid to let our emotions out because we are afraid of being judged or called out on them for one reason or another. Of course, not everyone is feeling the way we are. So, not everyone is going to agree with our emotions. That doesn’t mean they are a burden on anyone. It’s a “take it or leave it” type situation. If my feelings are too much for you don’t “take” them. But I should be allowed to express them and not be penalized for having them. Just like you should be allowed to feel however you want to feel. I for one, am here and listening.
Let’s decide now what we want for ourselves and say never again. There have been too many times where I have let others make decisions for me. There have been too many times where I have been given in because I thought I was making a sacrifice to make someone I care about happy. That’s what we like to believe. The truth is that we are weak and are being taken advantage of. If the other person is not making the same kind of sacrifices and not changing their life for you the way you are for them to make you happy then stop and reevaluate everything that you are doing. This doesn’t just apply to men. This applies to all relationships in our lives. Move on, you are worth more.
You know how they say never meat your heroes. This, this is a perfect example of it. He was one of those very few people who had stood up for every and any cause that was just and any human who was oppressed. He was doing the same for the people of Palestine. He got hate for so many of his beliefs and stance in his life but he has never back down. That made him such an admirable human. This time he has been scared away. I’m saddened and disappointed at the condition that our world is in that people can be bought and silenced for speaking up against clear discrimination and genocide. I’m shocked that we live in a world that a human being who has done nothing but good in the world has to eat his words and apologize and take back his support for the innocent and side with the criminals and mass murderers. @markruffalo no sir the issue is not about antisemitism, or even Hammas being a terrorist organization because the people who are taking innocent lives everyday decided to call them that and you and people like you oblige.
The problem now is that people like you are in our way. If you can’t help then admit it and get out of the way. You are not an ally. If you are not standing with the innocent and the displaced then you are standing with the killers and the murderer. And I’m sorry but we don’t need your carefully curated words to make us feel better. This goes for all of you. From now on just shut up and try not to make anymore “safe” statements. We got it, you support the genocide. You’re silence made it clear enough. We don’t need you to open your mouth and distract us from the cause.
There are so many variations to what’s happening in Palestine. It’s not just one thing. It’s not just one issue. We only see the one view. We only watch a video. We watch it like a movie and then go about our lives, the reality on the ground is so different from what we understand.
It’s time we did more than look at the situation as numbers and bodies. Humans with emotions. Ceasefire doesn’t make things better or easier. The people have to sit with what they have lost and HOW they have lost it. The brutality and cruelty of it all. How do we help them deal with it? Do we move on because we believe that there aren’t anymore bombs dropping? Guess what? This is your bomb. Guns or no guns, when these adults and children never feel safe again and never feel whole again how are things ever okay? Fact: those guns and bombs are also always dropping. We all know it.
What we need today is not the same thing we needed yesterday. What we needed yesterday is not what we needed before that. We keep changing. Our lives and our need for survival keeps changing.
This is not a mellow dramatic post about “look how much we have grown, and look how far we’ve come” kind of post. This is a literal post about how we change over time and what the need of the day becomes as the days go by.
I remember when I was a child there was no filter. Our parents talked about everything. I think that turned me into a very strong person. Also, I think that was the need for the time. Had I been sheltered I would not have been able to deal with certain things in my life and would have crumbled under the weight of my life or maybe my own choices.
Today, our kids are not the same. We have sheltered them because they have grown up in a different world. Even though the world is literally bare naked in front of them, they know so little about it. Partly because they don’t want to accept it for what it is mostly because of our experiences we are hell-bent on protecting from it.
When issues like Palestine arise we are faced with decisions and we wonder in their “ignorance” did they make the right call? Our parents, that is.
We faced it head-on. We were afraid but we also grew up fearless. We also have uncontrollable anxiety, fearless nonetheless.
So, II decided to shelter my kids a little less. I can’t throw them out into the world because the world doesn’t look like it did in our parents’ time. Also, anxiety. I did explain to them what’s happening in Palestine. I had spoken to them about Kashmir a few months back. We regularly speak about ongoing issues such as the BLM movement and other issues around the world. This time I spoke to them in a lot more detail and showed them some images and videos. Not too violent. It saddens me to say that because I have the option to shield them from how much they take in.
My children’s narrative is in my control as should be every child’s. At this point saying something like this makes me sound insensitive but that is the world we live in. I can protect my kids from showing them the violence and brutality that happens to other children the same age as them. The irony is too much. Saying it out loud is sickening but important.
They will be upset them, they will sleep in my bed a few more nights. In the end, there will be more people in this world who would have heard about what’s happening in Palestine. There will be another generation ready to fight to right the wrongs. Whether they be close to home or somewhere else. They will know that the world is hurting and they have a responsibility. They will know from this point on that a few sleepless nights and some worrying thoughts are just the beginning of a long hard bumpy road that is ahead.
In my opinion, that’s not such a terrible price to pay to raise a conscience responsible generation. We are running out of time. We couldn’t jolt ourselves out of the false comfort until it was too late and look where we are today. Let’s pray we do right by our children; by ALL our children.
This is such a taboo topic in our culture. We grow up being taught that our parents can do no wrong. There has to be an understanding that the world is not the same for everyone and it’s okay to accept the differences. One person’s life experiences don’t nullify everyone else’s. We have to give the exact same weight and importance to others life experiences. Why is this in particular so important? Because this issue in particular is ignored in our parts of the world. We are hushed and made to feel guilty anytime we start to complain about our parents. Parents can be abusers. Parents are the first people in your life who are supposed to keep you and make you feel safe and if you didn’t feel way you have every right to say it and people who love you and care about you shouldn’t shut you out they should at the least believe you without judgement.