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Posted in Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

My Nonsense

Okay, so my life just took a shitty turn guys. You get to a point where you think you’ve lived through the drama, and that stuff doesn’t bother you. You tell it to bugger off. At this point in my life, I thought my job was to help other people with my drama-filled experienced. Here I am, though, completed kicked in the knees by my past and present. I’m sitting here thinking, “I have done this. I HAVE DONE THIS SO DAMN MANY TIMES.” This should not rattle me. This is new, though. In some weird, unknown way, this is new. This repeats on me, why? How? I’d like to think through no fault of my own, but it repeats continuously. Today, right now, it has a tanginess, and I cannot explain.

Today, this day. I never thought I would have to deal with this. I should have thought better. Known better. I don’t understand why this is even important. I am one of those people who take things. I don’t go around being emotional and illogical about issues. I think, and then I decide what my move will be. Today, I thought and then I decided I just don’t want to deal.

My entire life has been dealing with something like this. Y’all know what I’m talking about? I know you’ve been there.

When people won’t cut you a break, and you know they know they should. Yeah, that. I’m worn out by the drama that’s always been here and I’ve always been prepared for it.

I think its because I am not ready to hold my tongue, or my fists for that matter. Been doing that for far too long. Feels good to admit that.

Violence is bad kids.

Sidenote: a long time someone in Turkey gave me a crown made of roses and I pretended to be a princess for the rest of the day.

Thank you for listening to my nonsense.

Posted in Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

Boys: Please Take A Seat

Shall we get into the kind of exquisite dialogue I have had with my wonderful male colleague? Who, by the way, is no longer my colleagues because of said dialogue. I was told work would be delivered within an hour. When it was not, I asked what had happened. I was asked to define “working hours” it was the middle of a weekday. Im sorry, what? You want me to tell you what working hours are? What kind of intimidation tactic is this? His exact words, “yes, I said I’ll deliver it in one hour on a work day in working hours. We have to first define what working hours are.” Seriously dude. Why is there a confusion? Working hours are the normal freaking working hours. He lives in the same city so you cant say theres a confusion over time zones.

So I need all of you just sit tight while I complain about how hard it is to be a woman doing business in this world. I know, there are worst catastrophes to talk about but today I choose to highlight this one. This is not something that should go unnoticed. There have been days, nights where I have stayed up wondering if I should just quit and get a job because where am I really going to get trying to fight and push and shove my way through this mess of men always trying to push me away. I mean, my gosh. Have all of you just completely forgotten that we are just as much human as the men, or were you never taught that? This was never a part of any lesson, ever? Was it? The things I have had to listen to and I am expected to put up with is horrifying. I sometimes ask my husband, who also runs his own business, if he had to deal with some of the things that I am dealing with, and he has no idea what I’m talking about.

Im not known for my cool-headedness and my calm demeanor. Many times when I tell people its hard to run a business or be a working woman in this world, Im told its because I’m too aggressive. Damn, right, I am. I am not going to go into that same old discussion of, “no one would say that to a guy,” but no one would. I’ve met plenty of assholes getting away with assholery in the name of being tough bosses.

Oh and the amount of men have tried to explain MY job to me is unbelievable. The amount of men that have tried to explain to me how writing works who have not picked up a pen or typed a word in their lives is amazingly high. Now, all of a sudden every guy is an expert on how to attract women to the subject matter we are talking about in my website; womens issues. Apparently I don’t know what I’m doing and they can help me do it better. They all seem to know what women want. They really really do.

Ask me how many men have asked me, “are you sure you understand what your audience wants?’. Actually don’t, its just going to frustrate you. Usually I don’t have an answer for them, because what women want is the exact opposite of that.

Oh and like anyone employing another human being you dare ask the hard questions no matter how polite you’re being they WILL get offended. A woman’s job is just to be impressed by their abilities and skills and hire them without asking any questions. On may occasions I have noticed they will start a conversation or an email with “dear sir” but as soon as they hear my voice or see me sign off with my female name they feel its completely okay to call me by my first name. I am still just as many years their senior. I am just as much their boss or going to be when they thought I was a man. I, btw have no issues being referred to by my first name. Im just pointing out the hypocrisy. However, that kind of respect is only reserved for the other kind of bosses, the other kind of seniority, not the female kind.

In the end I would like to say #notallmen, but you know, still, a lot of them. What kind of experiences have you had with bosses? I’m currently facing more than one kind of bias. We will talk about the other kind some other day. Tell me what other biases you guys face at work? Maybe that will be my in to tell you my other ‘fun’ stories from work.

Also, my people, you are staying safe right? I hope so. I need y’all alive and healthy.

Posted in Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

I am Mahvish Akhtar the CEO of Femmerang.com

http://www.Femmerang.com
Ready to go live in a few hours. Cannot be more delighted by how we have made it to this point. To all of you who have helped me get here…I’ll buy you something pretty some day!

womenmatter #wematter #longroad #suniscomingup #bondedinsisterhood #bondedinwomanhood #letsdothis #professionalscribbler #towhomitmayconcern

Posted in Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

Be Friends With Coffee

I recently read somewhere that this is the time to connect with people that care about us; This is the time to be around them more. Somehow as some of us feel we are more able to spend time with our loved ones because of all this technology at our fingertips, some of us think that we are entirely cut off. While we might be on our phones or computers all day long, we might not be that great at using it for communication.

This makes me think of coffee or tea, depending on where your heart truly belongs. A good cup of coffee can cure any ailment. You will feel that’s not true if you are not addicted to this pure joy.

When you first open your eyes in the morning, look around to see the sunlight beaming through the window no matter what your night has done to you, you know your coffee/tea is going to take care of you. I have heard it being compared to a warm hug. Sometimes you need a kick in the pants. You smell that beautiful aroma that tells you the day has just started, and you are still as strong as you were yesterday. Get your ass up and try again.

No warm hugs for you today.

Isn’t that what friends do on a bad day?

A warm hug. Yes, that too. Im, not the hugging type. I need someone to tell me to stop being a baby and get it done. I need someone to tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself. Who can do that better than the bitter, sweet, hotness that is my first cup of coffee?

Oh yes, I have made actual human friends over cups of coffee too. The few that I cherish have been over the beverage of our choice. That is why it’s hard to imagine now having friends without this beautiful liquid.

What I’m trying to say and failing at explaining is that have you noticed how many of our friendships and hangouts depended on coffee, chai/tea(same word, different language)? We have forgotten how to communicate since we don’t have the option to sit down over a hot beverage. I have a cup of coffee next to me as I type, and I feel like I can’t get through writing this without taking a few sips of this magical serum. This is what we call coffee culture. That was my point, I think. When I started drinking coffee, it was those late nights and early mornings that every student has to deal with. Then came work and married life where you have to work and deal with those pesky life issues where people want from you, and their wants mean you need to be alert after that children. Now coffee is a matter of survival, honestly. Just give me an IV at this point. This is not about fun and sitting around with my friends, sipping on something, and discussing my problems and current events. This is how I open my eyes. I hope and pray the kids don’t wake up before I finish my first cup. Then the rest of the cups are taken in between trying to help them with homework and finishing my work like right now.

Somehow some genius saw the value in it for people like us. They decided that those of us who need it to survive could go-to place to catch a break. Now coffee shops are places where we go to find our solitude and escape from the world…or used to go to.

When that world that we are trying to escape is the world we have to embrace fully, and the people we go to for solitude are unavailable, all we have left of the coffee culture is coffee. How do we talk to people without coffee shops and coffee? Just people? That’s a little strange, don’t you think?

I have found a friend in the beverage itself. Nevertheless, the smarter thing to do would be to make yourself a cup of coffee and video call a friend. Maybe remind them to make themselves a cup of chai or coffee first, too. Im sure its better than drinking alone.

Posted in Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

Some Of Me

Houston, TX. Somewhere in the middle of the 90s.

I am such a long way from this young woman. I remember this day. My beloved cousin was getting married, and this is a picture from one of the million functions we had for her. I was actually excited about here, after a very long time something mattered because I knew I could have fun MY WAY. I had earned my freedom. I had left the life I didn’t want behind me. I was embracing who I wanted to be, I was changing, evolving, becoming me. This me that y’all know and barely tolerate. This young woman had no idea how much harder it would be to become her own person. Maybe if she knew she would choose to stay tied up in the glass house crumbling piece by piece. Maybe climbing all these mountains and going on all these adventures wouldn’t seem worth the trouble.


Today, I can tell you I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m stronger, lighter, braver, and without any regret today.
That little girl who was shoved into situations she didn’t want to be in would be proud of this young woman in the picture, and this young woman would not believe that she would become me some day. So…kudos to us.

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Posted in Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

A Heavy Soul

This month starts, and you start hearing seeing all these beautiful things surrounding you. It is a limitless ocean of beauty and awe. Some of us, however, wake up with a heavy head not being able to function, not because our heart is not into this month, not because we don’t have a connection with our lord, mainly because we can’t make a connection with our own souls. There is so much to sort through. This month, with everything beautiful, it has to offer comes upon us and demands that we give in. What if we have nothing left to give?
What beauty do I have within me? What greatness or pureness can I contribute?


We feel lost and abandoned by the best because we don’t have what everyone has in their hearts. At some point in our lives, at some Ramadan, we have all been there. We’ve all felt it but have not been brave enough to speak because that would be the real weakness. We think we are alone in this feeling. Does anyone ever just want to stop because they feel they don’t deserve all the good things they have been promised in return for doing just a tiny bit, which they can’t seem to accomplish at the moment.
No one has ever been here. I am alone in this. This is my struggle. No one knows it. No one will ever know what it feels like not to feel that connection. No one will ever know what it feels like not to want to get up and do the right thing. I will not share with anyone because no one has ever felt this pain and discomfort. I will not share because no one has ever been here.
You. Are. Not. Alone.

ramadan #loneliness #virus #love #souls #soulconnections #youmatter #ramadandays #mentalhealth #giveittime #loveandmercy #believeinthelove #praytotheoneabove #praytotheONE #wewillmakeit #letssticktogether #togetherwecan #professionalscribbler #towhomitmayconcern

Posted in Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

Virus

We’ve been talking about how to stay connected through this lockdown, we discussed how to talk to your children. We even talked about what to do when this lockdown and the talk of the virus starts to feel like its taking over our lives. It’s all very superficial, everyone says we need to be hopeful. Yes hope is good.

We all need to be positive about which way our lives need to go. There are some aspect however that are right in front of us that we find hard to control. We need to be honest about those at this point.
How is your home life?
I mean the stuff you keep safely edited from instagram. The real stuff. How are your kids? Those talks worked, I bet. But then you’re out of their favorite kind of cracker. We all know that feeling, don’t we? The fighting and trampling all over each other. You yell. They tell louder. The older children ask you a million questions if they see you dress up to go out even to the grocery store because they are so fearful of what’s out there. “Coronavirus” is going to get you, mama you will get sick.


How many of you wished that your spouse was in another country.? Safe, no doubt, but on another continent, planet. Hell, this life already feels like a sci-fi flick, why not go all the way?
No matter how much you love each other, this is not a normal setup for any household.
Let’s talk about how much we are loving everyone who is far away from us. We want them to be with us constantly. We are worried about them and the assumption that they would be great partners for this apocalypse is truly otherworldly.
You know whose a great partner in reality? Netflix.

coronavirus #virus #covid19 #people #wewillsurvive #parentsofinstagram #momsofinstagram #peopleofinstagram #hopewillsurvive #keepliving #momblogger #momsofinstagram #professionalscribbler #towhomitmayconcern

Posted in Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

Talk To Your Kids

Let me ask you; are your kids asking you a bunch of questions about coronavirus that you cannot answer?

There are so many unknowns. So much wrong with the world, their world has turned upside down and no answers to be found anywhere.

Sounds about right. Mine have questions about how much longer they have to live in quarantine and how much longer they have to worry about the coronavirus?

The most important thing that I have found at this time that has worked with my kids has been honesty. I can’t give them an explanation for everything that is happening, but I can give them some answers. The answers I don’t have I honestly tell them. The approach of being open and communicating what is going on even if that means not having all the answers is way more beneficial to children of all ages in this uncertain time. Im sure most experts would agree with that.  

Another thing that is essential is making them feel safe. So, I forget the sequence of what’s more important. Being honest or making them feel safe, they are probably both equally important. Of course we can never promise them or guarantee them 100% safety even in the most normal circumstances. However, you define normal. What will be important is to make sure they understand that they are with people who love them and are there with them to protect them to the best of their abilities.

Another issue that is important to keep in mind while going through this with your family is over exposure. The stories and news about people affected by the lockdown, Covid-19 or other problems related to it are everywhere. We have nothing else to do but flip through the news and the constant flow of information being provided to us. While we are exposed we unknowingly expose our children to it too. Whether its watching TV in front of them thinking its just the news so its harmless. Or talking about it without censoring ourselves assuming the little ones aren’t paying attention-they are always paying attention.

How do we counter these problems? How do we distract them and ourselves? They are not the only ones over loaded with all of these questions and thoughts.

Focus on the positive. Look for the people who are helping, those who are doing what is needed. The biggest dilemma of this pandemic is that we are feeling helpless. That feeling of helplessness and being locked away is hitting everyone the same. We need to find ways to get everyone involved.

Getting involved means different for everyone. For your family it may be a prayer circle every day, donating money, or calling some sick friends. You could also try some off beat techniques. The internet is full of them. Try other ways that will ease your anxiety. The more you are at peace the more your child will be at peace as well. Your child’s mental health is tied to you. Your offspring is forever connected to you. They will always feel your burdens. Ease your mental burdens and make them a part of that process. This will make them feel connected to you and make them feel like a part of something bigger. They will feel as though they are helping.