coaching, helping, counseling, mentalhealth

Let’s keep falling out of line

#letsmakeadifference #wearehereforyou #happytohelp #telluswhatyouthink #lifteachother #femmerang #femmeرنگ #towhomitmayconcern #professionalscribbler

Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

My Nonsense

Okay, so my life just took a shitty turn guys. You get to a point where you think you’ve lived through the drama, and that stuff doesn’t bother you. You tell it to bugger off. At this point in my life, I thought my job was to help other people with my drama-filled experienced. Here I am, though, completed kicked in the knees by my past and present. I’m sitting here thinking, “I have done this. I HAVE DONE THIS SO DAMN MANY TIMES.” This should not rattle me. This is new, though. In some weird, unknown way, this is new. This repeats on me, why? How? I’d like to think through no fault of my own, but it repeats continuously. Today, right now, it has a tanginess, and I cannot explain.

Today, this day. I never thought I would have to deal with this. I should have thought better. Known better. I don’t understand why this is even important. I am one of those people who take things. I don’t go around being emotional and illogical about issues. I think, and then I decide what my move will be. Today, I thought and then I decided I just don’t want to deal.

My entire life has been dealing with something like this. Y’all know what I’m talking about? I know you’ve been there.

When people won’t cut you a break, and you know they know they should. Yeah, that. I’m worn out by the drama that’s always been here and I’ve always been prepared for it.

I think its because I am not ready to hold my tongue, or my fists for that matter. Been doing that for far too long. Feels good to admit that.

Violence is bad kids.

Sidenote: a long time someone in Turkey gave me a crown made of roses and I pretended to be a princess for the rest of the day.

Thank you for listening to my nonsense.

Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

Fear of the Unknown

Telling Ghost Stories in the Camp

We live our lives in fear. Fear of someone getting upset. Fear of someone not approving of our plans. Fear of not having a job to go back to. Fear of not being able to handle certain situations. What if I get sick? Fear of being a burden. It’s not easy taking children everywhere. What if it’s too much for my body?
Sometimes they can ruin others’ vacations. In all these unknown fears we as a family, never took vacations together.
It was never the right time, never the right weather, the right anything. However, if the pandemic has taught us anything is that life is too damn short. We are learning to live in the now.

Across the river, who knew there was so much to accomplish.

The lesson that I always come out with from my impulsive behavior is to try everything at least once.
So, I would recommend taking a vacation with your close family and friends at least once in your lifetime. Those fears will still be there to haunt you just the same when you get back.

Have you seen such great archery?

#thefears #fearsthathaunt #vacation #life #fearless #vacay #fearless #familyvacation #letsride #wedidathing #emotionalhealth #mentalvacations #fearisnotthebossofyou #letsgoeverywhere #travel #pandemiclife #thejoyofbeingfearless #towhomitmayconcern #professionalscribbler

Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

I Finally Realized

As women, we have been conditioned to do that over and over again no matter what the results. Sometimes, the results are brutal and devastating however, we keep going. We still strap ourselves in and go for a second, third, fourth, or fifth round because we wholeheartedly believe that this time it might be different or this person might just care.

It’s a blessing to know, don’t you think? It’s a blessing to finally know. Our curse is to believe in something that’s not there. Our curse is to love something that doesn’t exist. As a people, we have learned to put our faith in those that will not come through.

What that person has is no concern and a free reign on us. They know that we will keep coming back for more without a single consequence to them. They are free to do as they choose. So where does that leave us? As people, as women? Merely saying that we need to change things is not enough, changes need to happen. We need to wake up from deep within to realize what’s being done to us. How do we achieve that level of consciousness? I didn’t come here with answers today, just a bunch of questions that we need to find answers for very soon.

#toomuch #changes #wakeup #noanswers #conditioning #brutal #weneedmore #wedeservebetter #answers #questions #consequences

Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

An Attitude

I don’t mind being told I have “an attitude” I’ve learned that’s not always a bad thing. What has been getting me down and breaking my heart is the lessons I’m having to teach the next generation of young women.
I’m having to tell them over and over again that their strength will be mistaken for rudeness. I’m having to reassure them of their capabilities. I’m having to teach them the value of always being true to themselves because most of the times the world will tell them that they are better when they don’t give their opinions honestly and just agree. I’m having to tell them that this reality is not changing anytime soon and their patience and limits will be tested over and over again. I’m having to tell them to keep their cool because if they lose it they are labeled, not taken seriously anymore no matter how intelligent or capable they are. I’m having to tell them to not second guess themselves because they are being questioned. I’m telling them to stop apologizing for mistakes they haven’t made.
In the end I remind that one day it will get better and they will be respected and appreciated for only their talent and hard work. No one will notice their gender. Hold on a little longer. That’s what I wish I could tell them.
Instead I give them examples from my life; at 45 years old, 20 plus years into my career I am still questioned and second guessed. As a mother I’m undermined by friend and foe alike. I tell them this is our reality. Learn to live in it, accept it, be emboldened by it. Never give up because someone else tells you to. Keep doing what you do best. Today I wake up in a slightly better world than I used to 20 years a go. I promise, your children, your young will wake up in a better one because you didn’t give up.

tomorrowhastohappen #keepgoing #bettertogether #womanhood #bondedinwomanhood #bondedinsisterhood #riseup #nevergiveup #liveitup #learntolive #lifelessons #towhomitmayconcern #professionalscribbler

Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

Are We Still Celebrating?

Did we celebrate our freedom? All freedoms? Is it over now? How is today going? Are we still free today? Free to do what? Are we still celebrating today? If so, celebrating what? How about we leave the celebrations behind and start thinking. Thinking about what we celebrated yesterday. What freedoms we are grateful for today.
While out and about yesterday in the middle of the day with my children we came across herds of people in cars, bussed and motorbikes singing, dancing in the middle of the street. I wanted to get away from them. Their “celebration” of OUR freedom made me, a fellow Pakistani, feel unsafe. What were they celebrating that I couldn’t get on board with? How about we don’t celebrate that kind of freedom?
Are we ready to talk about issues and come back to the real world where putting up flags and merely singing songs, blowing horns doesn’t change things. Can we come back to a world where we realize that posting pics of dead people AFTER they have been brutally murdered doesn’t change anything either.
Let’s start working on a country that knows that we don’t have much to celebrate at this point. We have so many chains around our ankles, so many nooses around our necks.
Let’s come back to a world where we realize we need to free our country all over again.
Freedom for Pakistan once more!

14august #freedom #happybirthday #letstryagain #freedomforall #makechange #standup #speakup #keepmoving #workhasjustbegun #norest #timeforchange #celebrate #celebratechange #humanity #womenmatter #wematter #speakup #professionalscribbler #towhomitmayconcern

Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

Join Me.

Well not really, working on building it. There’s no age or time limiting for it. Let me just tell you, I’m having fun doing it. If only you could see me right now. There is music, there’s dancing, there’s fear of failure and lots and lots of hope.
Join me!

keepmovingforward #mommiesofinstagram #mamablog #liftteachother #keeptrying #onceisneverenough #alloveragain #loveandlaughter #betherefortheones #parentsofinstagram #keepmoving #liftingup #womanhood #sisterhood #bondedinwomanhood #bondedinsisterhood #cantstopwontstop #towhomitmayconcern #professionalscribbler

Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

Do Something Different

This was for Eid Day. However it’s something we can try at anytime.

This eid I decided my heart beats differently. I decided I don’t have the same drumbeat as everyone else. I also decided that this is not always a bad thing. I get asked, but what of your children? They are learning from you? I hear, “your son is just like you when he does XYZ…” when he does something different from the norms of the society.”
I make sure to tell him, they tell you you’re like me because your mama always chose her path and spoke about it with pride. I found no reason to hide anything, ever. Don’t you ever hide anything either? Be proud in your choices, Keep being yourself.
So, on this Eid, my message to all the parents and all the children is: do a lot of judgment-free listening and you young-uns ask a lot of questions free from pre-conceived notions about your parents. About how they grew up, how they’ve lived, and why they choose to live the way they do now.

Be each other’s strength because there’s a whole world out there ready to knock us down all the damn time we don’t need to do it to each other. Try it and see how your world changes for the better. This Eid let’s do something different.

#eid #happyeid #eidmubarak #alwaysbeyou #beyourself #parenting #parentsofinstagram #momlife #momsofinstagram #mommyblogger #lovemyboys #momson #mommylife #parenting #askquestions #lifteachother #judgementfree #togetherwerise #letsgoplaces #sticktogether #bettertogether #professionalscribbler #towhomitmayconcern

Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

Grief and Loss

Early July and mid-August are the hardest times of year for me. It’s not as though I plan for it. I would rather not remember every tiny detail but all of it comes rushing back. Such is grief. My nephew was supposed to come back from his trip, and we were supposed to plan for his next semester. My son would be 17 this year. He passed away in the quiet of the night on a warm August night. Now, I instinctively wake up in the middle of the night almost every night to check on my boys. At this point I don’t even ealize I’m doing it. It’s a part of my subconscious.
I could write all night about grief or what I miss about my baby and my nephew. In the end it’s nothing you guys haven’t heard or read before. What’s important to note here is that there are two separate incidents; one from 14 years a go and one from a few years a go and the pain is exactly the same.
The lesson: there is no time period for how fast or slow one deals with loss of a loved one. Don’t give yourself or others a time limit. Don’t be too hard on yourself, this process is difficult. However you do get used to it and you do find a way to learn to deal with it in your own way.

pain #grief #livingwithloss #livingwithgrief #death #lovedone #alwaysandforever #loss #losingaloveone #deathisinevitable #grieving #professionalscribbler #towhomitmayconcern

Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

Dawood Global Foundation Donates #LFWheels

Dawood Global Foundation #LFWheels LADIESFUND Wheelchair distribution of 116 wheelchairs to SIUT today. Handover was presided over by GM Abbasi, who spoke about SBP’s commitment to facilitate handicapable, and attended by four members of Bank Islami. Wheelchairs were donated by Tara Uzra Dawood personally, Bank Islami and several LADIESFUND members in the names of loved ones.

Honored to be a part of this wonderful organization, and really looking forward to getting to know the inspiring ladies in this team.

ladiesfund #LADIESFUND #LFWHEELS #LFVIP21 #dgfattoamano #Wematter #liftothersup #keepmovingforward #lovematters #standup #domore #professionalscribbler #towhomitmayconcern

Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

Birthday Stories

My older one turned nine a couple of days ago, his friend and brother were forced to pose for pics.

I’m not traditionally a big birthday “todoer”. When my kids first became aware that birthdays were a thing they used to want elaborate cakes and care about who was there and who wasn’t. I didn’t argue and let them have it. Then questions like. “What is the big deal about being a year older?” started to come up. I loved that they were questioning things and wondering about life. After all, would they even be my children if they didn’t question a norm or two? This year both of them opted for a simple celebration. The younger one wanted a plain chocolate cake, he’s not a people person so he just wanted few close family members. This guy wanted just a friend or two.
Slowly, they didn’t care so much.
I’m realizing that on the most part the extravagance and over-the-top birthdays are parents wanting to celebrate their children rather than children wanting to celebrate themselves.
My children’s celebrations look very different from mine so I let them have theirs. Well, most of the time. I’m not perfect.

birthday #adamis9 #birthdaywish #whatisabirthday #happybirthday #celebration #celebratingbirthdays #birthdaycupcakes #cupcakesareforeveryday #cupcakes #chocolatecupcakes