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Posted in Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

My Nonsense

Okay, so my life just took a shitty turn guys. You get to a point where you think you’ve lived through the drama, and that stuff doesn’t bother you. You tell it to bugger off. At this point in my life, I thought my job was to help other people with my drama-filled experienced. Here I am, though, completed kicked in the knees by my past and present. I’m sitting here thinking, “I have done this. I HAVE DONE THIS SO DAMN MANY TIMES.” This should not rattle me. This is new, though. In some weird, unknown way, this is new. This repeats on me, why? How? I’d like to think through no fault of my own, but it repeats continuously. Today, right now, it has a tanginess, and I cannot explain.

Today, this day. I never thought I would have to deal with this. I should have thought better. Known better. I don’t understand why this is even important. I am one of those people who take things. I don’t go around being emotional and illogical about issues. I think, and then I decide what my move will be. Today, I thought and then I decided I just don’t want to deal.

My entire life has been dealing with something like this. Y’all know what I’m talking about? I know you’ve been there.

When people won’t cut you a break, and you know they know they should. Yeah, that. I’m worn out by the drama that’s always been here and I’ve always been prepared for it.

I think its because I am not ready to hold my tongue, or my fists for that matter. Been doing that for far too long. Feels good to admit that.

Violence is bad kids.

Sidenote: a long time someone in Turkey gave me a crown made of roses and I pretended to be a princess for the rest of the day.

Thank you for listening to my nonsense.

Posted in Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

Narcissism For The Win

Has everyone freakin lost their minds? This woman? THIS WOMAN is allowed to represent women by speaking at a woman’s March event? Let me explain to you that I’m not ranting as an enraged Johnny Depp fan. I’m ranting as a coach, councilor and journalist who sees this kind of narcissist abusive behavior all the time.


Normally I don’t get involved or comment on celebs personal lives because they’re always doing something shady. But this one matters to us folk too. Plus it’s a little bit about Depp.I am human after all.
I’m not someone who questions a woman when she says she’s been abused. However, our world surely does. They ask questions like, what did she do? How did she act around him to make him angry enough that he had to get violent? Must have been her fault. Again this is not real life. This is Hollywood so the brunt of it was faced by the man and he basically lost everything in an instant and she became the hero. Some of us knew all along that it was all her, but did it matter? Did it stop us from blaming him? Not really. He was the man and in this case that was enough.


Now here’s where it’s harmful other than just personally for him. What I’ve learn of her personality is that she’s a huge narcissist. She wants the lime light for the fun. She wants people to love her. She probably wanted her husband to love her too. But she probably wanted him to love him exactly the way she wanted it. Not any differently. If he did it differently she wouldn’t approve of it. Narcissist like to control everything.
They are master planners, controllers-and gas lighters. To keep an intelligent person in line you need to gaslight them so they keep second guessing themselves. They are not expecting that someone who cares about them would be lying to them or would be trying to trick them so they believe it. Or they just stay very confused.
Of course if you do figure everything out and you call them out on it then there’s that physical drama that no one wants to start because at the end even if you’re the victim its somehow you’re own fault.
A person like that, their objective becomes then to ruin their victims life. They want to ruin their reputation by talking about them in public. They portray them as weak and unstable. And Amber Heard was able to do it in such a beautiful way it’s amazing. Sense the sarcasm, please.
The reason I find these places giving her a platform so problematic is that, 1: she will use it farther to abuse her victim in any way that she can and better herself as she sees fit.
2: since she is a narcissist she will not care how she destroys other women in the path to her success. And just by hiring her the marginalized women who are suffering will suffer more. If she was heard it was only because she is famous. Like I said before, most women get questioned and are denied the right to speak if something like this happens to them. What would happen now while this case is fresh in everyone’s mind, when she’s always in the public eye? People who know the truth will take women coming out with their genuine stories with a complete lack of trust.
These women now will think long and hard. She and more so, people who have supported her have set us back a few decades if not more. I hope she gets a taste of her own medicine somewhat and at least gets fired from her upcoming films.
She surely has much to lose still but what we have lost by making her a hero will take a long time to regain.

#justiceforjohnnydepp #johnnydeservesbetter #wealldeservebetter #womenseservebetter #sheisnotavictim #stoptheinsanity #justicefordepp #neverunderestimateanarcisist #professionalscribbler #towhomitmayconcern

Posted in Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

This Messed Up World

I worry about the world in which I’m raising my children. I fear that it’s way messed up. I mean yeah, it’s violent and there’s death and despair all around us but I’m worried about something far worse. I’m worried about them becoming pretentious assholes. Honestly, they are way more likely to turn into entitled brats than they are mass murderers. If I’m being honest with myself and all of you, they are well on their way.

Let me be frank; I haven’t helped much by way of the company we keep, save a few good people. I cant even count the amount of times I have had people come into my house look around and ask, “oh you bought the house as soon as you moved here?” as I say “nope we’re renting” I get this look that says it all. That look of, “awww, I’m sorry you’re poor. I guess we will hang out with you out of necessity or work responsibilities.” I kid you not when I tell you that everyone I have recently met has mentioned how many properties they own and how many spots they have vacationed at, in our first meeting. Not just them, their littlest kids of under 10 years old will give you that information as though their lives depend on it.

They do at least feel as though their importance to others or place in the world does depend on what they own. As for my kids they are entitled enough and think the world is at their feet without any of that information so I’ll keep it from them for as long as I possibly can. Don’t be fooled by this last sentence though, we are not poor but we’re not rich either. At least not in the traditional sense. What does rich look like anyway? Is it owning  land?  Houses? Cars? Do I have those? Yes. Do I own all of them or some of them? You will never know because I hope you are not here because of any of that. I hope you are here because I am just THAT amazing. No, but seriously. I would rather have an abundant amount of eclairs than cars. You cant eat cars when you’re emotionally drained. That was an inside joke. If you got it, you got it. If not…I apologize.

In all seriousness though, where did we go wrong that we started telling tiny humans that their worth is counted in big mansions. How little we must make them feel to tell them they are nothing without the help of stuff that is way bigger than them. The material that they can’t comprehend and in their tiny heads cant even began to imagine how to gather. All of it must make them feel so inadequate so unfit to be anything but not good enough.

Clearly we have never felt good enough ourselves to need the aid of material so heavily. Clearly our morals, our values, our personality, our character was never good enough for us so we counted our worth in quantifiable objects. Maybe we were never told that we have all the character and all the valuable attributes that are needed to be enough. Perhaps a change in attitude, perhaps an overhaul in society and a deeper emphasis on character of a person rather than their bank account is needed?

The question still remains, how do I protect my children from it? The answer is both extremely simple and increasingly difficult. I make them sure of their abilities. I tell them that who they are is not about what they own. Who they are is not even about what they know, I have seen many knowledgeable men and women become assholes just because they have more information compared to others. No,.  I tell them they will achieve true greatness when they care about none of those things.

I tell them their hard work will matter when they work hard because they enjoy doing the work. I want them to understand that knowledge will matter if they are enjoying acquiring it and not getting it because they want to hold it over others. I tell them being better will actually be better if its to help others and not just themselves.

You know the most interesting part of it all? You cant TELL children anything. So, when I say I tell them I mean I’m learning to live it myself. In other words the only way to save my kids from not becoming assholes is for me to not be one myself. And those of you who know me know very well that I’ve got a long way to go.

I hear the first step to solving one’s problems is admitting that you have one.  I guess I’ve got that going for me.

So…good for me?

Posted in Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

If Only

If only people knew the kinds of things that go through our heads on a daily basis. If only people knew the kinds unfinished stories we have hidden from the world that we are afraid to reveal on the account of, we don’t want to be called insane. If only people knew…maybe someday they will find out. I don’t plan on sitting on all those stories forever.
Get ready world, you haven’t read enough of my insanity still.

insane #writer #insanewriters #passion #writeeveryday #writerscommunity #instawriters #instagramwriters #writingcommunityofinstagram #blogging #bloggersofinstagram #insanityofwriting #wekeepwriting #lovetowrite #fortheloveofwriting #poe #allanpoe #poewriter #authors #authorslife #authorsofinstagram #authorslifestyle #professionalscribbler #towhomitmayconcern

Posted in Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

Mom

For all my beautiful judgy friends and family who usual come at me with comments like “ but kids are great” and “you of all people shouldn’t be belittling” our children. Let me just tell you, children are HARD. They are freakin precious but they are little pricks. I wouldn’t trade them for the world but that doesn’t mean they’re not driving us straight up crazy.

kids #kidsofinstagram #children #parents #parentsofinstagram #momsofintsagram #instamoms #mommybloggers #momsofboys #mothers #parents #professionalscribbler #towhomitmayconcern

Posted in Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

Reality Is Broken

There are some things we know to be facts. Others, we know to be our facts. That is to say, we find them our truths. They are absolutely true for us but no one else ever sees them as we do. Some of us spend a lifetime convincing others to see things as they see them some, well, some turn off the lights. Not everyone is worthy of our truth. Some of it is ours, we need to let it be that way. Or maybe it’s not that we need to let it be, maybe it has to be that way.
After all the world has to come to some realizations on its own. Not everything is taught, some things have to be experienced. It is a rather painful realization. Especially for someone or “someones” who have seen life left, right, upside, and sideways. You want to grab everyone and stop them from going down that road.
No, it’s dark, it’s ugly. There are no wolves. There are no scary wolves but grandma’s house isn’t safe either. No one is going to come to save you. If you would just listen. Just. Listen.
That’s not the dress you want, someone washed blood stains from it this morning. I’ve seen it. If you only knew. I could only see what I saw. If I could only tell you things I have seen or I’m seeing right now.
I guess you have to wait until you get to grandma’s house and find there’s no way where that’s safe.

You will have to the gaping wound yourself to realize everything is tainted with blood.
There is very little we can do to tell. Seeing is believing. Sometimes even that doesn’t work when people have chosen to turn a blind eye.
I still choose to keep my facts close to my heart because it is very easy to get lost in the deception of everything around us.

facts #reality #realityisbroken #deceptionofreality #mytruth #myfacts #youarenotreal #letitbeknown #listen #hear #stainsofblood #myexperience #myworld #professionalscribbler #towhomitmayconcern

P.S: If any of what I write interests you, maybe you want to hear me talk about some boring shit on my youtube channel on Femmerang.
It’s called TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN.
until we meet again.

Posted in Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

Bye Bye 2020

2020 is gone, we hold the power to make whatever we want 2021 to be. Yeah, a load of bull crap, it will be, what it will be. There is some truth to training your mind heart to dealing with the worst a bit better. You don’t have to be completely lost. You have to be a total disaster. Let’s hope 2021 doesn’t hit us like a ton of bricks like 2019 and then ESPECIALLY 2020 did.


Whatever does happen though; let’s be ready to deal with it though.
Get in touch with Femmerang’s Wellness Team we will give you the tools to deal with any emotional and mental problem that comes your way or that you may already be dealing with.
We are here for you and always will be, no questions asked, no judgement, anonymously if that’s what you need.
Try it, you have nothing to lose.
for appointments contact us
info@femmerang.com
WhatsApp: +9203055666898

wellness #femmerangwellnes #femalewellness #wedeservebetter #womenandmentalhealth #talktous #letushelpyou #selfawareness #femmerang #mentalhealthmatters #selfcare #stress #mindfulness #anxiety #health #depression #wellbeing#youmatter #youmattertous #femmerang #femmeرنگ

Posted in Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

The Superhero Curse of the Russo Brothers

I want it all back. Everything that we’ve lost, all that is not here anymore. I want it all here and now. Does this sound like a child plead? Well, I am surrounded by young boys, either they were going to start sounding like me or me like them; those boys are hard to break. So, here I am stubborn as a child wanting all of it to go back to the way it used to be. We don’t even completely understand what we lost until we go back and look at what we had. We lost our innocence. We lost the real sense of right and wrong. We lost our battles of good and evil. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. We want our superheroes back. We want to be innocent again. We want to know that there is some corner somewhere where we are safe and protected, somewhere far away rain stops, and the sun comes out with a great big rainbow.

I want my clean-cut handsome no-nonsense grandpa superhero.

The man who has an actual beautiful mind and the face of, well…Mark Ruffalo.

The diva who thinks he’s always right because he IS right, and he knows it.

The mighty god who has the will to turn realms at his feet and the tenderness to shed tears over the shadows of the past.

The King, the one who belongs to all our hearts. We will take him as he is for, he is free to rule as he pleases but chooses humbleness as his guide. No leader is a greater teacher in that world than he is.

The badass Superhero woman without whom all these larger-than-life men wouldn’t know which direction the sun comes up. I want Nat back. She deserved so much better.

Who can forget Scarlet Which, technically she’s not a part of the OG MCU Avengers but she has earned the right to be in any list that talks about superheroes anywhere. I want a movie with just her and Black widow. I know that can never happen but the least we can do is acknowledge the physical and emotional strength of these women who lost so much and still were expected to baby these men and be nurturing to them. Did anyone catch that or was it just me? Just me then?

That will be a different article, don’t you worry.

I Especially want Clint Barton back, we all need the real Clint. Are any of you aware that he is supposed to be blind and deaf? He knows sign language and is an expert in Martial Arts and some other cool stuff that I forgot about. The point is MCU did this dude dirty. Wouldn’t it be cool to have a superhero who so many people could relate to? A special needs superhero who can kick-ass? Can you see the importance of it in our world?

I was so happy to see the emotionally unstable, fat Thor because he resonated as the real hero. He was flawed but strong. His strength came through in the end when he knew he had nothing more left to lose and everything to give to the world that was counting on him to make it right. Aren’t we all the strongest when we have nothing more left to lose?

We can all use a little more Ronin/Hawkeye as he is meant to be.

Endgame came and the world…the real world went to shit, is it just me? Or did you guys also feel like the  Russo brothers cursed us into this life?

Just think about it; We were all okay right before Stark died and Rogers hung up that shield.

I mean, I don’t really believe that of course, but don’t I?

#superheroes #marvelheroes #mcu #tonystark #hulk #theherocurse #marvelsuperheroes #marveluniverse #steverogers #cap #scarleteverything

Posted in Travel, Parenting, Lifestyle.

Find Me

I will find you. I know. I am not alone. I am not the only one who thinks of my strength. I am not the only one who thinks of me. I know you are there somewhere. You are are here. Surrounded. Around me. I will find you. You will be with the ashes of my burning soul. You will be with me. I will know you. I will be that person who gets known, gets seen. I will be seen by you. I will see you because you will know.

You will know, wont you? You will want to know, wont you? There are times when even I don’t want to know. I want you to always want to know. You have always been that person. That constant. I cant keep losing you. I cant keep losing you in the crowd, in the noise. It’s been too many years.

You remember. You remember those days when we were something. Something more than, less than. The days when being less and more was everything.

I remember my soul. I remember it so clearly as if it was yesterday. I will find my soul again. I will find it again.

As time passes by we become something of a mystery to ourselves and then we along with everyone else wonder how things are what they are. I wonder that too. Where are you now? Where is my soul? You own the ashes, for you burnt it all to the ground. Only you can bring it back. Whatever it is, you have it.

You own it. You know it or you don’t.

You will find me.

Find me.