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The Journey Within

It seems my weight journey is complete. Is that even possible? I’ve lost almost a 100 lbs. Today I got on the scale and I was at the weight where I had said that if I ever got to this weight I would stop trying to lose weight and just maintain it. 

Not much difference to be quiet honest.
I’m not one of those people who believe in following a “regime”. I don’t do a product type diet either. Eat or drink this regularly and you’ll lose this many pounds in this many days or weeks. No. I didn’t give myself any time limits. I just wanted to be healthy for life. That can’t have a deadline. I basically have a “till death do us part” type philosophy.
I follow many of these people who live their lives on those fads and diets. Or who are selling these healthy stuff; shakes, and other stuff. I mainly follow them for inspiration.
I’m the kinda person who believes in just eating/ making healthyish food at home and working out. Which means any kind of workout that suits you not the newest trend that’s sweeping the world today. Because not everything is for everyone.

A Treat for a Traveler

I love junk food so I give in. I buy onion rings and sometimes eat a little bit and hide the packet so it’s not in my view or easily accessible. Sometimes I buy so much junk food at once that it’s unbelievable that I’m only shopping for one. I have been known to eat as much as I can in one sitting and then trash the rest because I don’t want to be tempted.
I guess you can say I’m doing it the hard way. No fancy shakes or smoothies. No pills to curb the cravings. But if it’s not hard it’s not fun.
That’s not true. Hard sucks but hard is the only way it really works and it’s the only way it doesn’t come back because it’s a lifestyle change. You are not dependent on things that will break your bank or you for that matter. You will cook at home like you always do. And you will just learn to control the urges. Urges don’t go away. They come. You feed them. You just feed them 5 chips instead of 20.
Back to my original point; was there one? Oh yea. What happens now? I thought the world would change. Butterflies would be more colorful. Flowers would smell better. PEOPLE would smell better. I thought when I stepped outside the sky would sing the theme song of my life, which would be an uplifting and beautiful melody. I imagined me, always showered and in beautiful clothes. I saw myself different from this.
What I am right now is, me. Just plain old me. Thinner, plain old me. Someone asked me, how does it feel when people say, “oh my God you’ve lost sooo much weight we didn’t even recognize you”? It feels good. It’s a very nice feeling to know that I’ve done the unthinkable. What people thought I would never be able to do. I like a challenge. I’ve always kept people on their toes. However, it doesn’t feel exceptional. Like that’s my entire self worth. After a while I want people to stop telling me how different I look. After a while I want people to notice other things about me.
Because I feel great but I still feel like me. To you I may look like a completely different person but to me I’m still me. Sooo, when you tell me, “I didn’t even recognize you” I feel like I’ve almost lost who I am. Sometimes people who I have known my entire life don’t come up and talk to me because they don’t recognize me and I don’t bother “reintroduce” myself. Now, it’s just too much trouble. The fun of it is wearing off.
So the answer to, “how it feels when people tell me that I look good or that I’ve lost so much weight”. It gets real old real fast.
I’m glad I did it for my health and for my children. I’m glad I did it for those days when I wear size small and it fits. I’m glad I did it for that haircut that I could never get away with, with my round face and double chin. I’m glad for so many more reasons.
Always remember though, when you look in the mirror you will always see YOU. Nobody else will look back at you at any weight. So if you are looking to be happy. If you are looking for skies to sing for you then find that in something else and not in your ideal weight because here I am, and I want to keep going because those skies are still far from singing. 


Journalist, CEO/Founder of, Mental Health Advocate for Women, Mother. I’m trying to get by just like everyone else. It’s a bit harder because of my chosen gender, so naturally not a friend to those who have stood in my way. Rest is irrelevant!

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