Shall we get into the kind of exquisite dialogue I have had with my wonderful male colleague? Who, by the way, is no longer my colleagues because of said dialogue. I was told work would be delivered within an hour. When it was not, I asked what had happened. I was asked to define “working hours” it was the middle of a weekday. Im sorry, what? You want me to tell you what working hours are? What kind of intimidation tactic is this? His exact words, “yes, I said I’ll deliver it in one hour on a work day in working hours. We have to first define what working hours are.” Seriously dude. Why is there a confusion? Working hours are the normal freaking working hours. He lives in the same city so you cant say theres a confusion over time zones.
So I need all of you just sit tight while I complain about how hard it is to be a woman doing business in this world. I know, there are worst catastrophes to talk about but today I choose to highlight this one. This is not something that should go unnoticed. There have been days, nights where I have stayed up wondering if I should just quit and get a job because where am I really going to get trying to fight and push and shove my way through this mess of men always trying to push me away. I mean, my gosh. Have all of you just completely forgotten that we are just as much human as the men, or were you never taught that? This was never a part of any lesson, ever? Was it? The things I have had to listen to and I am expected to put up with is horrifying. I sometimes ask my husband, who also runs his own business, if he had to deal with some of the things that I am dealing with, and he has no idea what I’m talking about.
Im not known for my cool-headedness and my calm demeanor. Many times when I tell people its hard to run a business or be a working woman in this world, Im told its because I’m too aggressive. Damn, right, I am. I am not going to go into that same old discussion of, “no one would say that to a guy,” but no one would. I’ve met plenty of assholes getting away with assholery in the name of being tough bosses.
Oh and the amount of men have tried to explain MY job to me is unbelievable. The amount of men that have tried to explain to me how writing works who have not picked up a pen or typed a word in their lives is amazingly high. Now, all of a sudden every guy is an expert on how to attract women to the subject matter we are talking about in my website; womens issues. Apparently I don’t know what I’m doing and they can help me do it better. They all seem to know what women want. They really really do.
Ask me how many men have asked me, “are you sure you understand what your audience wants?’. Actually don’t, its just going to frustrate you. Usually I don’t have an answer for them, because what women want is the exact opposite of that.
Oh and like anyone employing another human being you dare ask the hard questions no matter how polite you’re being they WILL get offended. A woman’s job is just to be impressed by their abilities and skills and hire them without asking any questions. On may occasions I have noticed they will start a conversation or an email with “dear sir” but as soon as they hear my voice or see me sign off with my female name they feel its completely okay to call me by my first name. I am still just as many years their senior. I am just as much their boss or going to be when they thought I was a man. I, btw have no issues being referred to by my first name. Im just pointing out the hypocrisy. However, that kind of respect is only reserved for the other kind of bosses, the other kind of seniority, not the female kind.
In the end I would like to say #notallmen, but you know, still, a lot of them. What kind of experiences have you had with bosses? I’m currently facing more than one kind of bias. We will talk about the other kind some other day. Tell me what other biases you guys face at work? Maybe that will be my in to tell you my other ‘fun’ stories from work.
Also, my people, you are staying safe right? I hope so. I need y’all alive and healthy.