The kind of strength and raw energy it takes to raise these two is undeniable. I have never been challenged and critiqued to this extent while being loved so fiercely all in the same breath.
It’s exhausting and comforting. I know the challenges will only grow as time passes. I know that I will have to be stronger, tougher, and harder for them. I will have a new battle, a new adventure every single day.
Being a mother is not rewarding, it’s painful, it’s harsh, and it takes and takes and takes. People tell you they get it and try to compare it to other situations in their lives. However, there aren’t enough ways for us to explain to them that nothing compares to the frustration and affection of motherhood.
Nothing compares to the cuddles, hugs, and neverending struggles. Nothing compares to knowing that you are never done. You never stop being everything to these humans, whether physically or emotionally.
The burden of just that knowledge is crushing. I wish I could end on a high note with something like, “I’ve loved every minute of it”. I can’t because that would be a lie.
I have loved THEM through everything and I know I will continue to love them through love and loss. I pray someday they will become my strength and not just my burden.