They say human beings can mold and bend with time. They say human beings are strong, while I see that strength we speak of I also see weakness. I also see us running away from recognizing the truth of who we are; we are cowards.
When it truly comes down to it, we are all out for only ourselves. How many of those we claim to be a part of our Ummah is suffering tonight yet we have gotten lost in the festivities of what is to come. How many of our own have lost so much yet we CHOOSE to turn a blind eye. Am I being harsh? Am I? Where are those Palestinian families sleeping tonight that have been removed from their homes? What of the parents around the world has watched their children suffer and die due to war and violence? What about the hungry? The poor right in here in our country. Someone asked me if I made clothes for the kids and myself this Eid. I said nothing but wanted to say that I’m grateful we are fed every day and we sleep under a roof every night. We will have something clean to wear; That is more than most. Let us be more flexible as we are imagined to be. Let us be more grateful as we are supposed to be. Let us be more softhearted as we are meant to be.
This goes out to all of those people who don’t have moms; those people who don’t understand the real meaning of motherhood. All of us who get shaky close to mothers day because we don’t know who we are going to celebrate.
This post is for all of us who have always struggled to find our “morheehood” because we didn’t really have an example to look toward. Not all of us have pictures to post. Not all of us have happy memories to share. I can’t even celebrate my motherhood because it reminds me of all that I have lost. So, now that the day is officially over and I won’t be offending anyone I’m going to dedicate this post and the rest of the night to those who have lost so much to be mothers and don’t have much celebration left in them. All of you who have lost your mothers and children. Or grew up with mothers who were not worthy of being moms I see you and I hear you.
I’m not going to make this too complicated for the sake of my sanity. Have you been to the grocery store lately? Or have you purchased a beauty product, shampoo, conditioner, body wash? Anything for females? You could be a guy shopping for your wife or sister, mother. Notice that the same item will be much cheaper if it’s not in bright, gender-defining colors. Or if it doesn’t say “women,” “female,” or some other word like that on it.
As women, we miss out on a lot. Some argue that we have plenty to be thankful for as well. As human beings, sure. We do. The problems are not the blessings and infinite worldly gains that Allah has given us in this world and promises us in the next. The problem is what is being taken away from us by other humans who can’t seem to stop wanting to either control others or simply make a buck off of them.
Now, go to the men’s section and pick up the same product, and it will be cheaper, the box might be in a color that hurts the eyes. That’s my personal opinion. Color means nothing. It’s just a personal choice. Although, I will admit that many times men’s items look boring and dull. Not all men are bland and color blind. They can see and appreciate a range of colors beyond black and white. Am I correct in assuming that? I’m not a guy, so I might not have all the facts. Far be it for me to ever womansplain anything.
Women’s clothes are way more expensive, and we don’t even get pockets. I got keys; I got a wallet and a phone. Sometimes I don’t want to carry a purse. Why is the world forcing me to make a choice that I don’t want to make?
What’s the bottom line? We are being robbed, and we are being taken advantage of, and we are constantly falling for it.
Capitalists are banking on our blindness to our thought process that if it’s expensive, it must be better. Why are they not pressuring men to think that way? Men’s consumer market simply works on “buy it because it will work and make your life easier.” Our consumer market works on “buy it because it’s the newest style, the latest brand the most expensive one out there. Buy it because you will be the prettiest girl at the party. Buy it because all eyes will be on you. One of a kind.”
For this one, we need to blame the outside world less and ourselves a bit more. Why are we letting this seep in? Why are we letting this be our reality? Why are we letting the seller define how we think of ourselves? Why are the brands able to so easily fools into believing who we want to be and should be? The pioneers of change and goodness. The pioneers of making a difference. It’s okay to want things. It’s okay to have something. It’s okay to want to look good and beautiful, and these are all our prerogative, man or woman.
It is, however, not okay to be puppets to the markets that make us consume without thinking of any repercussions.
Recently I have been thinking about everything we are going through and everything we are putting ourselves through INTENTIONALLY. Yes, think about that for a moment. So many of the times we don’t need to do the things we do. So many if the times we do things just because we feel obligated. We do those things because we are burdened by the purpose of our existence. We follow the never ending routine and never ending pressure just to be crushed under it because we feel we are pleasing the unrelenting masses of our society. Let’s be rebels for a day. Let’s do the unthinkable.
Let’s find the joy in ourselves. Do these pictures relate to what I’m writing? Probably not, you read the part about being a rebel right?
This month brings so much uncertainty with it. I know I’m not the only one that feels this way. Many women have posted about not feeling ready for this month. What does that mean? How do we get ready for a month like this? I mean isn’t that the whole point of this month. We are not ever ready. This month is supposed to make us into what we are not. we are not ever “ready” we are not ever prepared to face our demons. That is the whole problem.
Fighting that which is supposed to be hard. Fighting the fight of our lives. It’s supposed to difficult and heart wrenching at times. Those who say it’s easy and fulfilling to face all the hard parts are either lying to themselves or to you. Let yourself feel all those difficult and conflicting feelings.
That’s what this month is there for; It’s to teach us, train us. It’s there to help us see the difficult truths about ourselves and about others around us. There is nothing easy about this month and its okay if it doesn’t come easy for you. Its not supposed to come easy. No training, no lessons come easy. If it’s coming easy then maybe you are not gaining as much from it as you are supposed to. Ramadan is a hard and difficult look at oneself. This month is about exploring a part of oneself that probably stays hidden all year long.
Also, if your true self doesn’t show itself in the same way that it does for other people that’s okay too. Everyone is different. Everyone’s connection to Allah and how they access that connection is different as well. Just as long as you are trying. It’s important that we give ourselves the time and the forgiveness that we deserve.
It’s important that we don’t get caught up in just the ritual of it all. It’s important that we stop and think about the truth, and the guidance that’s been provided and go from there.
We give up because up because we’ve been lied to about what the benefits and the rewards of Ramadan look like. The truth looks different for everyone. The truth is, no one can speak for me or for you. Only you know your truth so don’t let anyone else tell you how you should feel about today or tomorrow or the day after. Define your own way, define your own connection with this month and the days ahead.
Your spiritual connection will depend on your physical, mental and emotional state. Don’t let anyone else be the judge of any of that. Learn your limitations; be confident that your Allah knows you and that is enough. You are enough. What you are doing in your full capacity is enough. That is all that’s asked of you. The rest won’t come easy because this is the real world, however, you can take comfort in the knowledge that things will gradually fall into place.
This is our master piece. As a family. We did this. I can’t paint or draw to save my life. My children however are great at it. They wanted to paint with me. I had an extremely busy day. Contrary to what these pictures may make you believe I don’t spend as much time with them as I should. I decided to do what they wanted to that day because my guilt took over. Between meetings and writing assignments we created this.
What I realized is that it represents us perfectly. Our family, our life. It is us. I couldn’t have wrote a better written explanation or rendition of who we are as a family. A crazy volcanic tornado that shoots out rainbows. This is who we are. I just hope and pray we never change. The only other thing left to say is; world, hold on. We are here!
Okay, so those of you who are watching The Falcon and the Winter Soldier step over here with me in this corner because we have much to talk about. Can I just say that this is giving me life right now? As dead as I thought The Avengers universe was after endgame, I feel like we are returning to life. Let’s be real for a second; I never saw this show as anything. I felt that Bucky Barnes was really not much of a character without Steve Rogers. He needed Steve Rogers’ Captain America by his side to bring him to life. I love the Idea of Sam Wilson as Captain America. I love the idea of an African American Captain America in today’s world. However, we hadn’t seen enough of Bucky and Sam together to know if they could be the team we needed.
Then we saw them together in the second episode. If I cant have Tony and Steve then for the love of everything beautiful in this universe I will take Sam and Bucky bickering all day long.
While this is filling a much-needed Avenger-sized whole in my heart this show is so much more than that. The topic of racism and blindness to racism in our society is presented in such a beautiful way. Every-time I get done watching it, I want to hug the writers. Of course, the delivery from the actors deserves huge credit. As a writer though, I’m going to go ahead and give a bigger shoutout to Derek Kolstad (if the rumors are true I guess) and I really should say, Ed Brubaker.
Did you catch the scene when Bucky shows up out of nowhere to berate Wilson for giving up the Shield? Wilson has got enough shit to deal with. He doesn’t need the guilt. Did you see the whole episode summed up in that one scene? Bucky says, “you had no right to give up that shield.” The response, “this is what you’re not gonna do. You’re not gonna come here in your overextended life and tell me about my rights.”
Later on, we see them arguing on the street and cops gather around them.
More than a hundred-year-old white man telling a black man what he can and cannot do no matter how well-meaning, does not sit well. The cops automatically assume that Sam is in the wrong, Bucky gets riled up because they are disrespecting Sam yet it doesn’t faze Sam (at least on the surface, remember he has real shit to deal with) in the slightest. Hell, we were riled up. We wanted to punch the TV. Bucky wants to talk to Sam about *rights*. These are those rights that he didn’t want to talk about.
This show is needed, these issues need to be talked about. I can’t even begin to know what it feels like to walk the streets for black people but I have been walking around a brown woman in a hijab and that hasn’t been fun at all.
People don’t want to be saved by anyone that doesn’t fit their own description of what a hero should look like. That’s why it’s difficult for people like Sam Wilson to accept that mantle. That’s why its so easy for people like Bucky to accuse him of doing something wrong because they don’t understand the undeniable burden of proof that comes with being someone who is always considered an outsider. Someone who is always suspicious to the naked eye, people do a double take because they just don’t know if they can trust you. These are all those feelings that someone like Bucky or any other white person wouldn’t have to grapple with.
How do you make a decision like this? How do you explain to the world that you cant be her savior because she doesn’t want you.
I know, I know its just a show, calm down. Life, art..art, life. Who can tell anymore.
The issue is greater than two people who have super strength and can fly around. It’s about two people whom society is refusing to accept. Two people who are trying to do right by the world but the world sees it very differently. The only person who seems to be doing anything right and has all the answers is the one with blonde hair and blue eyes. Coincidence? You know it. Of course in the world of the comics there is so much more to John Walker and we are not exploring that side of the show today. We don’t even know where they are taking that storyline. I am super intrigued by the way, and cant wait to find out but speaking strictly in terms of the topic on hand, this show is getting everything right.
P. S. Dam right Cap is back. Cap was back when Steve Rogers handed that shield to Sam Wilson!