Apples Are Not Grapes

This is a story from a few days ago. I was helping my kids get ready for school when I said it. It’s not something that doesn’t happen often but my older son’s response really made me think. I told my kids that I am giving them Apples for snack. They both looked at me with the same look of confusion and said, “No we want Grapes.” I said yes that’s what I said I’m giving you Apples. They repeated “NO MOM WE WANT GRAPES”. Then I realized I had been saying Apple instead of Grapes. I told them I meant Grapes. I though to myself how could I confuse the two fruits? Not five minutes ago I was downstairs putting Grapes in their snack boxes. They were both quiet for a bit. Then as my older one was walking out of his room he turned around and looked at me, then said very thoughtfully, “Mom how can you say Apple and mean Grapes? They are not similar at all.” Without waiting for an answer he walked away. He hasn’t asked me to explain myself since. Usually he bugs me with “Why’s” and doesn’t leave me alone until he gets an answer out of me.

However this time I have answers for him, so many answers. Grapes turn into Apples my dear son because I’m a mom. More specifically I’m your mom. You know how to ask endless questions about things that might not be important to other children. You can be stubborn about the tiniest of matters. You remember just the other day we had a 30-minute argument because you didn’t want me to hold the spoon in my hand when bringing your bowl and spoon to the table? You wanted the spoon in the bowl. I told you we’re already in the middle of breakfast now, so just eat. But you threw a fit. I didn’t know how to undo what which was already done. But you insisted to start over. But how? That’s the kind of thing that turns one fruit into another and, turns keys into pens and, makes all kinds of other miracles happen.

Interestingly, even though he drives me absolutely insane there would be no light in my life without him. Every day would be the same. I would not wake up thinking, “lets see what he thinks up today”. This is not an exaggeration. This child of mine is completely unique in the way he wants to live his life and it’s interesting to watch him go about his daily activities. I enjoy him as much as it tires me out and turns my brain to complete mush. Just yesterday I was instructed by him not to talk any of his friends’ parents. I was volunteering at his school. He said, “don’t talk to anyone just help and leave”. While I was there he said, “You’re not talking to people, right? Just help quietly.” He’s four years old in case that has escaped any of you. I have been asking him repeatedly what he is so afraid of me saying to the parents but he wont tell me. He doesn’t mind me talking to his teachers because he knows we communicate on a regular basis and he’s fine with that. If he wasn’t you can be sure I would know about it.

His school will be celebrating Spirit week all next week. They will dress up in different costumes every day. One of the days is “twin day” the idea is for two friends to dress up exactly alike. He refuses to do that because no two people are the same. He keeps saying, “But mom you said I’m unique and I shouldn’t change, I don’t want to change.” I am trying to explain to him that this is not the same as changing your personality. It is only a costume for a few hours. I’m trying to explain that…

This just means Apples sometimes literally mean Grapes. That is all.

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