Speaking of being womenkind and actually BEING womenkind are completely two different phenomenon. We speak of lifting each other up. We talk about having a certain comrodery. We speak about “getting” each other. We say, we just know one and other. But I’ll be honest. Us women folk are the most viscous creatures I’ve ever seen on this planet. We get hurt the most from others, be it men, be our children and instead of creating an environment of love and comfort for one and other we are cruel and hurtful. Someone asked me about liking women or something else of the sort…I told them: I don’t like my kind. Isn’t that the most viscous thing to say?
We don’t believe in building each other up. If a woman is doing better than us, somehow we feel she’s taking something from us. We feel that the only way we can be on top is to bring her down a notch or two. If we are in any way in a position of power we have to keep every woman under us “on their toes”. And God forbid we think any of our friends are prettier than us.
I sound like a woman hater. Is that even a thing? No, I’m actually the opposite of that. I’m a firm believer of women lifting up other women. I believe that unless we start doing this for one another, and we start becoming each other’s strength we can’t accomplish anything. This cannot be mere words. It can’t be about writing big fancy words, and big articles that are greatly researched with great women mentioned in it all the while we are being petty in our daily lives with the people we know. That’s where it really matters.
It doesn’t matter if you are on board with a concept. Where it matters is when you can see that you called your best friend chubby even though she looked really nice in that black dress which you knew you could never pull off. What matters is that your neighbor’s kid got all A’s and you felt a pang of jealousy and said, “well we need to let kids be Kids and not put so much academic pressure on them” rather than saying “oh that’s so great I’m so happy for you guys”.
Because let’s face it, each and everyone of us is working hard. We can all use a pat in the back from our friends and family every now and again. Also, guess what? Even though those pats on the back would be nice, we are not doing it for you or anyone else. Your female co-worker is not looking for that promotion just to annoying you. She’s doing it because she’s got mouths to feed and her life to live. So when you put her down she gets annoyed of you but her life goes on. Did you know that women mocked Kendall Jenner about having acne? Yeah I know what’s up.
How sad is that? We talk about supporting powerful women and then we ourselves reduce these women to a few bumps on her face. She should be ashamed of herself for walking out unless she looks perfect regardless of what she’s accomplished. That what we’re saying or is there more? despise the Kardashian/Jenner’s however this was just sad for our kind and in light of everything that’s happening around us it keeps getting sadder when we pull stuff like this.
I remember how upset people were when Alicia Keys walked out without makeup. Women mostly ate her alive for not being “perfect enough”. We just could not handle how she dressed, how chose to wear her face. She’s successful, powerful, but we drag her down because we can’t lift each other up. We choose this because she’s choosing something different. Because she she wants to be unique and it’s working for her and we feel threatening by it or simply don’t like it so she must stop it. You do you just does not exist for other women in our world. Why?
Would we say the same thing about a guy with acne who was rich and powerful. Or who decided to dress a certain way, or not dress a certain way? You’d think it would just be about these tiny little petty things but it’s not.
There is a big picture. You’ve bet your bottom dollar I’m about to say something about men, aren’t you? Well guess again. We like to blame all our problems on men and just be free of responsibility. It is true that they are responsible for a lot of it but this one is on us. It’s also true that it may have started because we wanted to please men by putting each other down and be accepted by them. But it’s not the same anymore. Now it’s just us, and how we think. Now it’s stripped down to our mental condition. We just need to accept that this is how we think. We can’t blame anyone for it. We need to accept responsibility and change how we are. As long as we keep playing the blame game no change is going to happen.
The main issue is problems only get solved when we start to really truly stand by each other. We start to move forward when we start to stop being petty with our sister, friend and neighbor and truly understand that this doesn’t make us less important in the big scheme of thing but makes us more important and makes us a very important team that has to accomplish very important tasks that cannot be accomplished solo.
Here’s the real issue how do we understand this lesson? That’s where I will leave you as let you figure this out for yourself. The hope is that there was some realization that we have a problem. The solution is not one, and cannot be explored right here and now. Let’s keep working because I don’t want to fight “us” while I fight everything else that’s thrown my way.