Just recently I’ve written about how hard it is for us moms to get out, and chill. Sometimes in comparison to dads, sometimes at all. There is one aspect of it that I purposefully left out. I wanted to write about it separately. I didn’t want that side of it to get lost in being a mother, in just being my kids caretaker. That side takes so much from me that it does not get seen. like the rest of me it’s unseen, unspoken. That part of me is forgotten. It’s burden takes so much yet it’s as if it’s not there. There’s something noble about being a mother. I can claim raising a generation. I can claim being someone’s something. However, when that other thing weighs on me, and makes me tired people think I am just a complainer.
This is coming out to be somewhat of a rant. It’s really not. Okay, it really is.
Here is the issue though; when people get tired from their work it’s right in front of everyone. You go to work, you come home tired. Then you take care of your kids. Help your wife, your partner, put away a few dishes, and whew, that is just the end of you. Understandably it’s a lot of work. When the STAHP complains about their day you say, “I help you. In fact I put in more hours then you do. At work, and at home.” That shuts them right up, doesn’t it? Yeah. You see them walking away with those clenched fists. I’ve had those. What are the charges for punching your spouse in the face? I’ll have to look that up. Unclench, and walk away. Absolutely NOT a true story! Moving on.
I can lie, and say I’m not bitter but that would be a lie. I’m trying to figure things out as I go along.
I’m also trying to take out my frustration. Along with all that I’m trying to clear some things out.
My closet mainly. What is the point? Laundry, dishes, cooking, picking up crayons, markers, so many papers every where, paint. Crayons are back on the floor. There is so Much bending all day. Why do they have to pee so much? Oh I should let them wipe themselves. Yeah. I do. Every time. Only they announce when they enter the toilet. Then they announce when they are done peeing. Then they announce when they’re done flushing. Then they announce when they’re pulling up they’re pants. Then they announce when they’re washing they’re hands. And they don’t move on to the next step until I respond. Also, I have to tell them to stop washing their hands, turn off the faucet, and come out. Also, sometimes they ask me if they need soap or not. Then sometimes we have a healthy discussion about why or why not they need soap after urinating. All the while I’m either picking up crayons or putting away paint for the 5th time. Or Adam is waiting at the bathroom door asking Dawud to hurry up because he has to use the toilet because he is does not want to use the 3 other bathrooms in the house.
You see it’s these things…ALL of these things that we can’t repeat when people ask why we are so tired all the time.
I can’t hang out tonight because my sons peed 6 times each today. And I put away paint 3 times. Also blocks. They are so tiny, and they are every where. I looked for a Lego-man for 2 hours. We’re not done looking for him. He’s supposed to be old McDonald you see. So I’m gonna skip the hang out. He’s important. He’s so important, there will be bloodshed if he’s not found, we want to Dubai for him. How does one explain this? So we say “I’m tired” instead of what we want to say, which is…