Have you ever had that moment where everything is surreal? What is this place? Where are you? What is happening in your life? Sitting here watching my kids play in front of me, pretend to be one superhero or the other; hulahoops. No, now it’s cars. It’s changing, going by so fast. I can remember a time when they weren’t here, and we were trying so hard to bring them into this world. They were not getting here fast enough. For years we tried so many things, it seemed like it would never happen. Now that they’re here it seems like that time was just a dream. That time when they were not here or when we were trying to get them to bless us with their presence just didn’t exist. Now, I’m just looking for a break. Looking for a moment of peace from them. A moment to even think to myself. Everything without them around is surreal.
He keeps tripping over the hula hoop. That’s the only thing that’s real. I can’t imagine a life in which he doesn’t exist. Adam keeps telling him, “just wait for mom, she’ll help you with it. You’ll trip and break your face.” That’s all I can remember. Anything farther back is too far back. My mom brain blocks it out. I hear crying, screaming, and the words, “you have to share”, that’s my cue. Now I gotta go deal with reality.