A thought came to me the other day: Why do only dads play catch? I mean it’s nice that it’s a thing. However, why is it a thing only between sons, and fathers? I don’t have a daughter but what if I had one? What if that was a thing we did? Also, I have two sons, and we play catch all the time. Why isn’t that glorified? When they grow up and tell their children stories about what they did with their parents, would throwing the ball around with me or going outside and splashing in water mean less than it does with their father because I’m a woman? Will the stories have less meaning? Time spent is time spent, right? Sometimes they cook with their dad. Does that mean less because he’s a dude? That’s still heard of but the other stuff with mom, oh no. No, no. No. No. We don’t do that. We can’t ever do that.
The other day my son said to me, let’s do something fun. “Let’s play catch”, as I said that I was surprised at my own thought process. The thing was we play all the time. We just had not defined what we were doing. Up until that moment I don’t think I had called it this. I don’t remember calling it anything. Why was it so weird to me that I , a mother, a FEMALE, was going to play “catch”? I think I watch too many movies and tv shows. You would think this problem, and the other one would not be related. In this scenario, they sort of are.
Have you noticed what moms are usually doing with the children when it comes to having fun? Most likely, nothing. If they ever ARE doing something, it’s cooking or just lazily tickling them on the couch. Maybe, drawing or coloring. I know, I also complain A LOT about my kids. Along with that, I do have fun with them. When we play, more likely then not we are doing something rough and crazy, because…well…that’s who those boys are. So, that is what I’m required to do as their mom with them. Those are the stories they will have. The stories that start with, “remember the time we made brownies with mom will be fewer, and far between” compared with, “remember when we were trying to jump from the sofa onto the bed and we pretending she’s the lava that we cant land on but you landed on her head? Haha, fun! Or the time she was the evil lion and I was the kitten that was running away from her and to save my life I licked her. She was so annoyed.” Yeah because HOW DOES LICKING A LION SAVE A KITTEN’S LIFE? That got away from me. I apologize. You get the picture.
How many TV shows, movies will show you that? Because moms are home. When kids are around and this is what they’re into, this is what the kind of play they will demand. We don’t have a choice. We can’t drag them into the kitchen for an organized kitchen day. Or a sit-down puzzle making. They can’t wait for a certain parent to come home to start their imagination and games. They grab whoever is available.
There is some truth to the idea that mothers play less than fathers probably, but there are some solid reasons for it. We might get into that some other day. Today, I wanted to talk about this issue.
Today I wanted to let all of the ball catchers out there to know that women can catch and throw as needed. Whether we want to or need to is a separate question and is entirely up to us.