I have been wanting to talk about this issue for a while now. Where to start? I know. There’s memes/ Gifs of Chris Evans and other “real-life superheroes” who have been helping damsels in distress at award shows tripping on their heels and beautiful gowns.
Okay, what is this article even about? Well they’re being praised for doing it right, oh and by the way I’m reclaiming the phrase “damsel in distress” a damsel can be in distress and she can un-distress herself. Anyways, the men are being praised for offering help in a nonthreatening manner. Such as offering their arm or shoulder instead of their hand. Or bending slightly and making their body language soft so it is not overwhelming, and threatening for women when they’re already trying to gather their dress and other accessories. Let’s face it, we got a lot more shit to gather when we get ready for functions. That’s one of the perks of being a woman. The downfall is tripping. That’s okay, life is a trade-off.
This is exactly what a lot of us have felt all our lives. I felt it was time to talk about it. This is for every timid girl out there whoever refused a handshake, a helping hand, a shoulder when needed. We don’t do it because we like tripping on our faces. Growing up in the 90s it wasn’t cool to say no, especially as a hijabi. Every time any of us refused to shake a hand or said, “I got it, thanks”, we weren’t considered to be protecting ourselves. We were just seen as bitchy little foreigners, whether we were or not, was irrelevant. It was more important to NOT reject a man than to feel safe. It was a different time. It’s okay to express these emotions now. We couldn’t even say this out loud because we were just a bunch of out dated women from some far-off land who didn’t want to be touched by men.
YES. We didn’t/don’t want to be touched by strange men. I for one will take a shoulder or an arm if I am tripping, because I control how I want to be touched and when I want to let go. Do not offer me your hand, don’t know where that thing has been and don’t know where it’s going to end up; most likely it will make me uncomfortable and make me feel
unsafe. Don’t let me forget to mention that an advertising company made a dress that records how many times women get touched. Of course most touches are unsolicited because no one, man or woman, is asking to be touched hundreds of times a night by different people.
As I was saying, I choose who touches me; Now, I can verbalize this concept. When I was younger it was unthinkable, “you dress the way you do AND don’t let men come near you unless you are absolutely and completely comfortable with them in every way? Gosh! (intense eyeroll) Were you like raised in a cave and like rode on camels or something? Because obviously, you have no idea how the world works.”
Hey camels are animals too you know. They have feelings, AND rights!