Choices

I was watching this show the other day. The show starts with the main character narrating that he was never a fan of the game of Life.

“Marriage, children, careers, houses, what kind of life is that?” He asks. He goes on to explain what his milestones are in his game of life, which are all academic. Of course, we know that he did have a family, children, and that whole life that he’s judging as a young adult. I, as a young adult, felt the same way. About marriage, children, and a stable life, who wants that? Truthfully, I never really thought too far ahead into the future.

I have realized that I still think the same way and I am still the same person. People grow and change, sure. However, we don’t change our entire belief system because a few of our circumstances or needs have changed.

We are who we are, good or bad. Some choices however are conscious. Like who we choose to love, who we choose to trust, and who we choose to let into our lives. Sometimes even who we choose to hurt and let out of our lives are choices we make. None of these are things that “happen” to us.

The game of life is just that, a game. You win some, you lose some. The rest is what we are making of it. I still find it hard to understand marriage and children, and adult relationships as a whole. If you ask me today I wouldn’t be able to tell you why I did any of it. Things happen, you get old and you forget why you would agree to live the rest of your life with a cranky old man forever. Now,  it’s kinda rude to tell him you’ve changed your mind after 25 years. And then there are the kids;  who the hell was in charge of that decision? Again now they’re here.  Also, they’re old enough to notice that I’m their mom and whatnot so it would be a whole thing with them.

I forgot that I chose it. None of it happened to me by accident (except for the one kid). As life goes on the blame comes in and it shifts from place to place and people to people. In the end it’s just us. Who we are at the core of us, and our choices. Live with them, or move on.

Either one takes all the courage in the world, no one should ever be faulted for any choice they make as long as it’s their own.

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